Tonight I sat out on our balcony at dusk to be quiet with some thoughts. As I looked down the dirt road I saw again the large house at the end, and I realized the anger that house inspires in me. The side of the house that faces us is a three-story grey wall with NO WINDOWS. It is rather unattractive to look at, while I long for inspiring scenery around me - grass and trees to break up the sand and concrete would be nice.
This windowless grey wall is hard for me because it shouts in my face about how trapped I feel sometimes. We have few small windows, with tinted glass. There are times to appreciate this: when the sun is trying to beat heat into the apartment, or when the workmen next door are trying to see in. But more often it makes me feel boxed in like a trapped animal wanting to get out and roam and breathe.
I'm already a little rebellious by keeping my shutters open to let in as much light as possible, often going as far as opening the windows when the weather permits. I wonder what the owners would think if I drew some grass and trees on that blank grey wall? Perhaps no one would even notice since most windows are shuttered closed. On the bright side, I'm thankful that my own windowless grey wall faces theirs, so I don't see it that often!
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