Evacuation: Sunday

Sunday, school was in session and promised to be for the rest of the week. Forty-five percent of the students were in attendance at the beginning of the day, but throughout the day parents arrived at classroom doors to take their children to the airport for departure; the multinational companies were evacuating and other families were following suit. I wonder how many were actually present by the time school finished. Some students were chanting the pro-government slogans that were airing on state television. Weeks before the school had forbidden political discussion of any kind, but it was the elephant in the room that no one could deny. We were all tense; all wondering what was happening. Teachers were gathering in the hallways and in corners to talk about events and discuss evacuation. During one class I caught myself pacing back and forth across the room and had to sit down to stop myself. Not much educating took place at school that day.

I work part-time, so I went home during my breaks to watch the news; it didn’t look good. At the end of school on Sunday students were provided with a letter home stating that due to low attendance rates, the school would extend the already scheduled mid-term break which was due to start at the end of the week. Calling off classes for political reasons would be to side with the anti-government forces and acknowledge that something was wrong. Teachers were free to leave if we wished as long as we provided contact details, and still planned to come back by the end of mid-term break, two weeks later.

After school, Jared and I went home to see the latest news. We met with some of our neighbors and close friends to discuss the situation and consider evacuation. Since the past Thursday people had been itching to evacuate; tensions were high and panic had begun to creep in. For us, the decision to evacuate was very difficult. We have many local friends we care deeply about, and had worked hard to make our home there for three years. We didn’t want to leave if we didn’t have to. The problem is, you generally don’t know you really have to leave until it is too late. All weekend Jared had been saying that we were not going to evacuate, even if others were.

Then, Sunday night we listened to the leader’s son make a speech. We were hoping he would step in with words of moderation and peace. Instead, he vowed to fight to the last man, woman, child. At that moment Jared said, “Pack a bag now.” That swift turn was a lot for me to handle. I wasn't sure that we should stay through anything, but I thought packing a back right there and then might have been rash. As it turned out, he was right and getting a bag packed of critical documents actually helped us feel less anxious because we were prepared if we had to leave at a moment’s notice. It was the first of a series of swift changes and decision making moments that would be so difficult over the next two days.

We were agonizing over whether we should evacuate or not when our local landlord came over to advise us on the situation. He said the government had announced a 48-hour timeline for people to hand in weapons and surrender. After that, D-day would begin. He advised us to leave if we could. We called other local friends and they also said we should leave for the time being. Having the advice of our local friends was so important to us. We struggled with feeling we were abandoning them, but their blessings released us. We knew that when things got difficult we would be in a very different position as foreigners. We decided to try to evacuate.

Sunday night I began to pack our things and watched the news. Some friends came over and we had a meal together. We even played Phase 10 as we tried to disconnect from the anxiety, yet we still went to bed feeling anxious.

Evacuation: Prelude

You know the end of the story – we made it out. If we had known the ending, it might have been easier to go through.

We started watching the news intently as our neighboring countries experienced political turmoil. It was interesting and concerning to watch these episodes develop, and yet we did not believe similar events would unfold in our country. There, the control and fear has been so absolute that we did not think the populous would dare move. There were announcements of a planned protest, but in a place where pre-planning is underutilized, we wondered who was calling for the demonstration doubted many would actually take to the streets. In the event that anything would take place, our school planned to call a day of “routine maintenance” on the day of the demonstration. We didn’t drive downtown that weekend. However, all was quiet, and school continued as normal.

But then there was movement in the east of our country. This was surprising, but it is still leagues away across the desert from our home in the capital. We still didn’t think much would happen in our neck of the woods.

Looking back, there were signs to the contrary: the children of highly placed families disappeared from school; announcements came promising lower food prices and free housing. Our embassy, though, was not acknowledging publicly the portents. The annual citizen’s meeting happened to fall about a week before the excitement began. We listened to the bureaucratic announcements about passports, visas and voting, but the open question time revealed what we all wanted to know: what were the official evacuation plans, just in case? The pc response was, “It is highly, highly unlikely that there would be a need for an evacuation.” However, they had just realized from Egypt’s experience that they could not count on communicating with us via mobile or internet (we were never counting on that), and they acknowledged that they were considering reinstating the old-fashioned warden system. This was not very heartening. After questions and follow-up questions they said that if we were ever in danger we could always head to the embassy (which means driving right downtown for us – an impossibility if events became heated), or head to the airport where at the least there would be an embassy representative with a high visibility jacket and megaphone looking for citizens. As events developed, we would come to rely on this, the only concrete hope for help they gave.

Publicly, the Embassies and our school were saying everything was fine, and to borrow the British phrase, advised us to “Keep calm and carry on.” As an emergency measure, we are always prepared with enough food and water to last a week. Now we tripled our stocks.

Over the week tensions grew and rumors of activity in the capital began, and we were reluctant to drive further than our local shops. We were told to be off the roads from 5pm until morning light. I became intent on restocking the rations we consumed while we still could. We refilled our oven’s gas canister, topped up the car with petrol and our phones with calling credit, and tried to keep our clothes and dishes washed in case the electricity would be cut off. Our usually quiet line of shops became frenetic with others doing the same. The first amenity to run out was phone cards. The only system available is pay-as-you-go. We were calling to check on friends, trying to get information about events around the city and attempting to get our affairs in order – all over the phone. We realized we needed more credit too late, and the stock was gone. We began limiting our phone usage.

Underrated Monotony

Part of what was so difficult during the evacuation was the necessity to make decisions with little accurate information in a rapidly changing and escalating situation. We also sensed that a whole lot was hanging on our minute-to-minute decisions. Once we did get out, we were still deciding day-to-day where to stay each night and generally, "what to do."

This has left me thinking, "I miss monotony!" There is a lot to be said for routine, and boredom seems a little novel at this point. I doubt I really wish for that, but we should try to pencil in some mental time-off somewhere along the way.

Community

Along with over 200,000 other people, we have entered a refugee phase and this is a new kind of episode in our repertoire of experiences. It would be convenient if it felt like a bonus vacation, but sadly it doesn't!

Along the way we've been touched by the amazing generosity and care of friends and strangers. So this is a shout-out to my cousin who arranged a London hotel to welcome us in the initial days, where we holed up to watch the news, email and Skype friends left behind. We meandered around the UK for a few weeks as we waited for our US health insurance to be renewed. Family after family welcomed us in - some friends and others friends of friends. Numerous people have lent us clothes to use and a big thanks to Jared's uncle who is lending us his car for a US road trip.

Your love and care are meaningful and healing for us. Thank you all.

Birds without a Nest

The great news for us is that our school renewed our health insurance, so now we can come back to the States for a visit. Strange and comforting to think we'll be there this time tomorrow!

When we get settled, we'll make a plan for visiting our friends and family, as much as we can. We booked our return flight for 2 May and hope we can keep it.

Hopefully too we will start to get our story on paper for some of you. I haven't forgotten. In the meantime we are still making calls to our friends to check in and try to help.

Hope to see some of you soon.

Therapy

Sometimes you find help when you least expect it.

Certainly, I can label the past weeks as "traumatic," "emotional," or even "abusive." But, it has been difficult to articulate what exactly transpired in the days leading up to the evacuation. Violence escalated quickly - and horrible rumors were rampant. Sometimes we didn't even know what to believe, but only knew things were getting bad...fast.

After spending a few days with some local friends studying in the UK, I have learned much much more. With the revolution back home in full swing, they are caught up in the real momentum of the events. Each death is personal to them - connected to a family member of extended relation. And in this mood, we talked and talked.

Dozens of stories about their diminishing leader shocked my naively, over-protected Western sensibilities. I heard about inhumane atrocities, and felt the thud of the statements like, "and there was nothing we could do about it..."

Good therapy is not swapping stories of suffering. But, I grew in respect for my friends and their families back home, and perspective hit me in the face. Our evacuation and continual state of limbo are hard to deal with. But forty-plus years of defeat and shame?? I can deal with my situation.

Dentist: "Have you experienced stress recently?"

Hmmm....I think so.

The conversation started with, "Don't freak out but your teeth are wiggly." Yes, that plus receding gums is concerning. "You seem to be clenching your teeth at night. I can see teeth marks on your tongue."

Nothing to do but not be stressed. I'm trying my best.

Pancake Day

I know the real day is next week, but Jared's firing up the griddle for some friends he's visiting from home. He met these four guys few years ago and they all work in the desert oil fields - with Texans. In the cafeteria they always have American pancakes with imported maple syrup and now these Arabs love them. This year they are studying in the UK and they're missing the hot cakes, so Jared called tonight to get the recipe so he can do the honors.

It means a lot to all of them to be together. I know they are talking about their families still struggling at home, their fears and hopes for the future. I just hope the griddle is all they fire up (and not the shisha!).

Dreams & Giggles

We're with another couple who live below us in North Africa and we went through much of the evacuation activities together. We're with them at their family's house. It's nice to be in a home and talk through our experience together. We went through the difficult few days of increasing turmoil, but evacuated separately. So it has brought some closure to see them here in the flesh with their two-month-old baby.

We are also finding a bit more emotional space - not watching the news every second, and we even enjoyed watching YouTube bloopers (it's been turned off for years where we live). But with the extra emotional space I've noticed that the experiences of the past weeks has started to show in my dreams. I find myself trapped in various situations and unable to get out. They aren't nightmares and I don't wake up in cold sweats, but I awake a little worn out and stressed. Maybe more bloopers will help.

Hotel Sanctuary

This post is dedicated to my caring cousin who got us a reservation at a Hilton Hotel in London. She made reservations even before we knew we would get out of the country.

It was just what we needed: 24 hours news in English and in-room internet have been so important to us as a way to assist our friends still trying to get out and to be in contact with families staying. And, the gym was crucial for me - endorphins can never be over-estimated; exercise is my primary way to unwind. Plus, their steam-room and sauna were very relaxing.

We requested a late check-out today and will begin to stay with various friends. We're primarily seeing friends who were with us, and it is cathartic.

I know you are anxious to hear how things have unfolded in the last week. I am gearing up to share the story with you. I feel like I'm getting close to being ready, but it takes a while to get to that point emotionally!